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willwarner's Journal  Trying to figure out what to be for Halloween...i'll probably be bloody again... I've been having a hard time recovering from my tonsilectomy/adenoidectomy. Went to my follow up appointment, and while they said my throat looked fine, they couldn't explain why my sinuses were freaking out. They thought that there was some infection where my adenoids were. They put me on a really strong antibiotic and this hateful nose spray that should be a controlled substance, totally gives me a head change, and the drainage tastes like...well...not going to incriminate myself for my experimental years....OH, and the stuff on my tonsils was a soil bacteria...the same one that causes that "after rain smell." But did my breath smell like it had rained...Nope! It's really common apparently (actinomyces) according to the Dr. but when I looked it up, it can cause alot more problems. Things at work are going fine, except that the leads are trying to work together to help me out on the daily duties of the office, trying to be a "team." Well, that would go better if they didn't argue so much about things. This all had made me realize that the best quality that anyone in management can have is the ability to stay logical and not let your emotions consume you. I seem to be particularly good at this, although it sometimes comes off as cold/unfeeling. I just go, here's the facts, here's what I expect of you, and here's what you did/been doing, and here's what we need to happen. It seems to work really good for me, but I've seen others fail horribly at it, and I feel it's cause they get emotionally involved with whatever they are dealing with. I feel like a robot at times, but the WillBot 2000 has no emotion. Especially after when I was gone from surgery, some of my coworkers/employees took it upon themselves to complain about me...the result...well, my boss says overall, I'm too NICE! "So, Will, you are just going to have to be a little more mean/stern." Enter Willbot 2000 the old Will is dead (died from having been stabbed in the back too many times), "the role of Will will now be played by.... (and gee, my name annoys me when I have to type Will will...grrrr!) Overall this transition is going well, I just get a few people asking me why i'm mad at them. I have to explain, I'm not mad at you, I'm just being your boss. I'm thinking about getting some Lady Amherst pheasants. Found a posting on craigslist, and they are very reasonably priced. I checked with the city, there are no ordinances against having them, but if the neighbors complained they'd make me get rid of them. They arn't real noisy, the male just makes a "chirp/squeek" during breeding season. I'm contemplating putting in an aviary where the two ponds used to be in the back yard. That area is really shady, and I can't really plant anything there anyway. Haven't decided yet though. I've moved up a bunch of plants from the farm and the yard is looking really good. I've actually seen people walking down the alley stop and check out the yard, and point at the flowers and stuff. Things are going good with me and Jeff. Seems to be much better since Chad moved out. This is the first time me and Jeff have lived alone (Chad moved in about the same time as Jeff). We are pretty domestic, and we both enjoy it. We have been going to couples counseling cause of some past issues, but the present is good. I just with our therapist didn't have a twitchy eye, drives me nuts when she stares at me twitching! Ugh. That may sound like a bad thing going to counseling, but we both agreed that even couples that don't have problems should probably go from time to time just to aid in communication and get some "outside" advisement. The problems I'm speaking of is basically us both comparing each other to our ex's, and talking about our fears, etc. I finally got my first check with my raise from my promotion. The check is much nicer, but will all go towards my medical bills that have been piling up...this check and many in the future...wah wah. And to top it off, my neck has been bothering me again, so I might have to have that surgery now. It's a $65,000 surgery, but with insurance it would be about $3000, but to me that is a fortune! My insurance changed it's coverage, so I might have to get another MRI from the new Dr. That'll be another $300. Speaking of healthcare this election race is driving me insane. Jeff is a news junky and the TV is often on with Anderson Cooper or the like talking about the same things over and over. I just want it to be over. I'm more of a democrat, but really wanted Hillary, and still pretty bummed that it's not her. I still feel she was the most qualified and most intelligent candidate, and knew how to get things done...but those are useless thoughts now. I liked McCain before this election, didn't have much against him, but now, and with Sarah Palin, I find it quite disturbing. During the last debates I kept thinking he was going to die right there, and his rapid blinking disturbed me. ~already looking forward to spring~ 
Current mood:  cold.Current music: Aphex Twin~Bucephalus Bouncing Ball. This is to Angela and Eugene, since i think they are my only live journal friends who know who Trampas harman is....he just friended me on myspace....wowza... Current mood:  curious.Current music: Miss kittin~metalhead. Like I didn't think that PETA were pretty off their rocker anyway...now they do this! http://www.wptz.com/news/17539127/detai Also, i'm doing much better with the surgery recovery and on my first day back at work, I got promoted...well actually just received a title, which i'd requested. Basically I'd taken on many new duties when our office took on charter sales along with commercial sales, my boss put most of the commercial sales stuff on me, eventhough that branch brings in much more $'s then charters 18mil a year. So, instead of a 4% annual raise which had me really pissed I now get 11% which is much more to my liking and I am now titled as ADMINISTRATOR...which I'm actually a functioning supervisor that does a little more, but a supervisor in the greyhound world is a salary position and they wanted to keep me hourly..and that's fine, and I like the ring of Administrator, I think it sounds even better than a supervisor. I would be happier if I wasn't so frustrated with my co-workers who took it upon themselves to complain about me to my boss while I was gone, but it must have gone to a deaf ear since I got this promotion upon my return! :) Jeff has gotten me back into comics, he's really into them. I have been a tad in the past, but after mine were stolen, which totally sucks cause my transformer comics are worth a decent amount now. I started reading Secret Invasion and I'm pretty taken with it. I think they are doing a wonderful job with it and I wouldn't be surprised if they end up making a movie about it, it just has that feel to it. Current music: City of Heroes from. Remember that posting where i hurt my wiener and fell to the floor and hit the wool rug? I took this pic later that day..found it on my cellphone. I have a large nose normally, but it's even bigger in the pic, all nice and swollen! 
Current mood:  embarrassed.Current music: E L E C T R I Q U E - Wicked Beats from NETMUSIQUE.com: Since 1999. Monday I had surgery to remove my tonsils and adenoids. They were in really bad shape, cryptic. Dr. thinks i've had strep or something like it for years and had been being mis-diagnosed by previous dr's as having allergy problems with a resulting infection. They didn't give me strong enough antibiotics to actually fight it, and basically my tonsils and adenoids were infested "dirty sponges." So, now they are gone...day one and two after surgery wasn't too bad, i mean i hurt and it was hard to swallow..but when day 3 came around...wowza, i was a total mess. Besides the huge amounts of hydrocodone i was on, my sinuses decided to freak out, nose totally stopped up. Cause of the surgery, i can't blow my nose for 10days, and I couldn't (excuse my french) suck snot down for fear of causing bleeding and intense pain when i tried a little. Called the nurse, she said it was normal to be really bad the 3rd day, and to take a sinus pill. So i do, the kind she recommended..and i break out in hives..BAD! They went past the usual dots and turned into solid red fingers even started so swell to where my fingernails were hurting. Tried to wear a breathe right strip that night to open up my nose and i don't think it worked, pretty sure i ended up breathing through my mouth that night, which irritated my throat, i couldn't even swallow water the next morning..i was back to sucking on ice cubes. Switched to benedryl in the morning (had a hard time getting the pill down) and the hives went away and nose cleared up. But, before that i woke up thursday morning choking on blood. i was told bleeding was common, and i guess people do weird things in their sleep to aggravate their wounds (mine was probably sucking snot or caughed or sumthin)..anyway, ran to the sink and had like a cup of blood come out, no joke. i'm not that sensitive to seeing blood, but it was so much i thought i was gonna pass out, head was tingling and I had lot's of OMG and WTF thoughts. Then i hacked up an egg yoke sized congealed blood clot. i nearly freaked out when that came out! if they wouldn't have shown me my removed tonsils, i would have thought i'd just hacked one up. The dr. had given me instructions of what to do when bleeding happened, so i gargled with peroxide/h2o 50/50 mix and got it to stop..but such a weird feeling having it foam up in my throat. it's day 5 after surgery and no more major incidents. i just can't go more than a few hours without the pain meds. i think I'm over the major hump of complications (hopefully)...and i've lost 5lbs, it's a great diet plan. On another note! Here's a painting i've been working on for a while. Kinda at a stand still on it...trying to decide if it's done or note. I did it first in charcoal, blocked in color with chalk and then worked it in with oil paint. it's on dry canvas, so the oil blended with the charcoal/chalk and had a nice effect (although it sucked up so much paint!). Please let me know what you think of it, and what you think itmight need, or if you think it's done... i know it's busy, but is it complete?? It's full of eyes, and genetalia (as you'd expect)...look for the face profile that runs the full length (not the small face in the center). It's about 4'x4' (you can see the edge of a dinner plate I use as a palate on the right side). 
Current mood:  sore.Current music: E L E C T R I Q U E - Wicked Beats from NETMUSIQUE.com: Since 1999. So....a few days after my penis accident...my tonsils began to swell and the lymph nodes above them. It was the worst sore throat I've had in my entire life, which is pretty freakin' bad. My insurance recently switched from covering Cox to st. Johns, so I had to get a new Dr. Well, she turns out to be this german lady, fresh to missouri, was living in NY, NY, has been here 2mo. I can't explain how blunt she was, but she freaked when she saw my tonsils, and yes, i talked to her about the penis stuff, cause the ER dr. told me to follow up with my PCP. i got great humor at her asking what position I was in and what position she was in when I injured my manhood. She did seem a bit confused when I told her it was a guy, but i'm used to that...i guess i don't emit the normal gaydar signals that most fags do. Anyway, she thinks i've had strep throat for years..yup, YEARS!!! And it's common for me to have problems in the fall with sore throats, and the dr. has always said it's just allergies, and gives me some kinds of meds and a short round of antibiotics. She's certain that i'd had strep all these times and that the antibiotics weren't the right kind and just fought it a little bit, and it was actually still lying dormant in my tonsils ready to develop again. So, her recommendation...get my tonsils removed. And the scary thing, strep can get all over your body and cause neurological problems and all kinds of shit....great...fucking great. i go to the ENT (ears, nose, throat) dr. on monday the 18th. I'm on 2000mg of antibiotics a day..yes that is not a typo...and it's making me feel pretty ill...hurting my tummy and stuff. My penis is all better except what was a pea sized knot, which is now more of a flat pea or bb size. It's fully functioning, and actually seems to get harder than before...Jeff thinks it cause I'm a smoker and the wound actually increased what was decreased bloodflow?? Eh, sounds right to me...but makes me want to quit smoking. Work sucks and i'm soooooo sick of the bitches there. One in particular, who thinks one of the guys in the terminal is creepy, eventhough he says nothing to her, and doesn' even look at her... I think she's insane, and I think she's trying to play victim... Did i mention she's a recovering crack addict..no..but I just did!!!! I am sleep deprived... I work 8a-430pm, and Jeff works 3p-1145p...so, I come home try and wind down, try and nap and then get back up to spend time with him, but all in all...i end up not getting enough sleep...so, this weekend..I'm gonna sleep in!!! I hope everybody else is doing great and i love you all!!! :) i'd post some pics...but my photobucket is messing with me...grrrr!!! Current mood:  annoyed.Current music: Miss Kittin~Grace. Wow, haven't updated this thing in a while. It's been a rough week to say the least. Been having some issues with the boyfriend. Found on his computer that he'd been chatting with guys online, which didn't bother me, until I read the messages, and saw how he was being..basically, it through me in a loop. What he considered harmless chats with dirty boys made me think he was cheating. Well, apparently he is not, and was doing the chat thing cause that's what floats his boat, and what he's used to in the past (before he was with me). Anyway, we had many talks, and at first he was all defensive, kinda like a bratty kid, probably partially based on him being autistic, and getting carried away....but with time it sunk in and we had really good talks and made up and all that and I felt much better... Until..We had the make up sex, (I'm not gonna censor myself, cause I never do), and it was pretty rough...the way the boyfriend likes it. Well, after a little over an hour of this..I bent my penis..yup, and there was some unusual swelling, like a finger was stuck under the skin on the top right side, like 3" by 1" sticking out atleast a half an inch. So, I said...um, we gotta stop...showed him and wowza, yeah we need to quit. He suggest the emergency room.. I said no way. I went and took a shower to cool off, cause the bedroom was really hot and after all the activity...well, I was pretty sweaty. Started the shower and I started feeling funny, stomach cramping, head tingling..I though, I need to get out of here. Dried off quickly, made it to the dining room where the boyfriend (jeff) was on the computer looking up penis injuries. I then apparently fainted/passed out and hit the floor, right on the wool rug (fancy, alpaca, handwoven that scraped a large portion of skin off of my face, see myspace wwarn808 for pics of my face, not my wiener!). I then got up and went to the bathroom to wash my face and look in the mirror and say "FUCK" when I saw the scrapes (rugburn)...apparently then I almost passed out again, Jeff caught me, continually saying we need to get you to the emergency room. I pushed him away saying I just needed to lay down... I guess I passed out in the kitchen too, hitting the floor once again (I don't remember that time). Then, I was in bed, with a wet towell laying over me, and itching from the wool rug, that totally confused me, I thought I had fiberglass in my arms/hands, and Jeff was on the phone with the emergency room nurse hotline saying, "I was having aggressive sex with my boyfriend and I think I broke his penis and then he passed out." And he hands me the phone...the lady was really super sweet, I wanna call and say great things about her (linda), amazing lady, listened to all our problems and was very sweat, but insisted that I go to the emergency room or urgent care, cause I guess if I fractured my penis, and didnt' go...it could result in amputation..uh huh!!!! So, at 8am (this happened about 430am), we were at the urgent care, got in about 930am, After many giggles from nurses and the Dr.'s they insisted we go to a specialist to get an ultrasound on my penis to make sure it was ok. BTW, I'm horribly mortified at this point... So, went to St. Johns, to see the Dr, didn't realize they'd made arrangements for the emergency room. YUp, full blown in the little outfit and on a bed and got wheeled around to get an ultrasound on my penis (which was performed by a guy I went to gradeschool with) after the procedure, he's like, "did you go go Morrisville? I'm like...omg, are you Greg? He's says, YUp" Fuck, even more mortified." Then I had a catscan on my head, and then an EKG on my heart. Turns out everything is ok, well except I ruptured a vein in my now PURPLE penis! But, that's much better than the surgery they were talking about to begin with, which was way fucking scary shit. Basically cutting around the head of my penis, pulling the skin back and stictching it up..oh and my Urologist name was Bob Johnson...PErFECT! He was awesome though, a really weird old man, how likened my penis to a shotgun in is description of what went wrong, and he showed much concern that I better be careful with "THAT" and not mess with it for a week..which is gonna be hard (pun), cause I have this insane libido right now... So, I look like I've been in a car accident. I await huge medical bills from this...and I'm dreading going back to work on monday. So, if you think your life if shit, well just be happy your penis isn't purple!!!!! Oh, and the passing out, well they think it's just from me over exerting myself, skipping dinner, and the cold shower, and combining all that with whatever my body was releasing from my penis injury into my system that knocked me the fuck out...And after the problems with the boyfriend...well we both feel it's karma biting us in the ass..or well, maybe my PENIS!!! Oh, and all is going fine besides the above. :) Current mood: cynical.Current music: ringing in my ears. 
Current mood:  amused.Current music: vinyl slut. Found this nasty thing in the bathroom. Looked it up and it's called a daddy long legs, but it's sure different looking than other daddy long legs I've seen. This one is a Long legged Cellar spider. While what I had been calling a daddy long legs is actually not really a spider but is called a harvestman, and are an arachnid, but not technically a spider cause of their fuzed thorax/abdomen. Ok enough odd trivia...oh and here's pics of my cat Wow, and Chad's pug Bandit.    
Current mood:  calm.Current music: vinyl slut. I'm not dead, I just haven't posted anything for a very long time. Sadly on myspace more than here now...that feels like a teenage girl statement... Well, I met a guy, a great guy. Had chatted with him for 9mo, and finally made a trip up to KC to meet him. Well, it went much better than I could have imagined. Since it's been me there, or him here every other weekend for 4 weeks. This is the first weekend apart since we started. He had to work this weekend, and I was ok I guess since I'm nearly totally broke. His name is Jeff, he's 36 and things have been going really fast...but, the distance it helping to slow it down. Things recently: -Went to KC autoshow, unhappy their weren't many concept cars and lot's of the new cars unimpressed me. Did love the new challenger, and Camaro (wowza). -Spoke with the police department and another employee about her involvement with the "panty Burglar." -Ate at T-Rex cafe in Kansas City and felt like a kid again, but paid for it like an adult (2ppl $70). -Been painting on a big painting in the garage. Stretched the canvas myself, and it's over 4ft both directions. Charcoal/chalk/oilpaint on unprimed canvas..sucking up the paint thinner and taking forever, but lookin' neato. -bought aquatreads for the front of my car, love in them in functionalness and thier super cool V'd tread pattern. -Changed BF's tire on the side of I-44 (on the side next to the road), when he had a blowout on the way to see me, and then he came down with the flu big time. Definate bonding experience taking care of someone when they are running a fever and having the sweats (soaked my entire bed, poor guy). -realizing many of my friends are not happy that I met someone I really like...and maybe they arn't that good of friends anyway, all my close ones are..bitter people who can't even trust anyone in their life will breed suspicion into other peoples lives...ugg... -long distance relationships are super fucking hard! Even when only 161mi's away. -Down to a 36" waist...what I was wearing when I graduated high school...very happy w/my goals. -Contemplating the future way too much! -Realizing eventhough I've lost a bunch of weight, I still have fucking chubby cheeks that people want to pinch! GRRR 
Current mood:  artistic.Current music: Cellphone's Dead: Ellen Allien Remix. |
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